I was chopping vegetables for dinner when my phone rang. The kids were doing homework at the kitchen table, arguing good-naturedly about who had more math problems.
“Is this Ms. Catherine?” an unfamiliar voice asked.
“Yes.”
“I’m calling from the hospital downtown. Your husband has been in an accident.”
The knife clattered to the counter. “What kind of accident?”
The pause lasted an eternity. “A car crash. It’s serious, ma’am. You should come right away.”
I don’t remember the drive to the hospital. I don’t remember calling my neighbor to watch the kids. I only remember the doctor’s face as he approached me in the waiting room, and how I knew before he even opened his mouth.
“I’m very sorry. We did everything we could,” he said.
My heart felt like it was going to stop beating. Ryan was gone. The only man who had ever truly loved me and loved my children as his own… was gone.
“Can I see him?” My voice sounded far away, like it belonged to someone else.
The doctor nodded, leading me down a hallway that seemed to stretch forever.
Ryan looked peaceful, almost like he was sleeping, except for the stillness. No rise and fall of his chest. No fluttering eyelids. Just stillness.
I touched his hand. It was cold.
“You promised,” I whispered, tears falling onto our joined hands. “You promised you wouldn’t leave us.”
The funeral was a blur of black clothes and murmured condolences. Margaret sat in the front row, opposite me and the kids. She didn’t cry. When people approached her, she accepted their hugs with rigid dignity.
Continued On Next Page
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